Monday, November 3, 2014

I'm so mad at Microsoft that I am blogging

I don't blog anymore. Haven't in years, according to the last post I made. For a while I posted in depth analysis on stocks and my takes on political issues. That eventually devolved into angry rants about shitty customer experience. This post is just that. I really, really wanted to give Microsoft my money. And for some reason, they just refuse to make that work.

So here's the situation. I want an Xbox One. I usually get all the consoles. Not day 1, but in time. Over the years I probably had 4 Xbox 360s. I burn them out, or sell them, or have them in two rooms. So far in this gen, I've only purchased the superior Playstation 4. I've been very happy with my PS4, and am convinced if you are a gamer and you are going to buy only one of them, you get the PS4 and not the XBone. But I long for Forza 5, and also miss playing with some Xboners, whose fanboism (or bad decisioningism) have kept them from making the transition to the better gear.

Enough waiting, I'm ready to buy. And Sunset Overdrive looks awesome, and isn't on PS4. That puts me over. I get a decent system, and two exclusives. Then MSFT comes out with the Sunset Overdrive bundle - certainly that's worth $400 bucks to me. No brainer. THEN, icing on the cake, Microsoft decides to give me $100 coupon if  trade in my old, dusty PS3 Perfect!!

When I hear about the $100 coupon I decide to go for it immediately. I go through the online paperwork, but then realized it will take a week or so to get the coupon, from when I send in my system. If I wait that long, the "limited edition" SO bundle will be gone (it's a white system with a digital code - I don't give two shits about a white system) ... DEAR MICROSOFT, I WANT TO GIVE YOU MONEY - MAKE IT EASY! Let me buy the thing with the coupon, and if my PS3 doesn't show up, charge my credit card $100 bucks. You win with more sales, I win with getting what I want fast. We are happy, and I buy more crap from you. Nope. No can do. And if I wait for the coupon I don't get me stuff. Grrr.... fine.

Ok, so they also let you do this at the brick'n'mortar store. I decide to do that. This way I can get the Sunset Overdrive bundle. Yes, it means a 30 minute trip to the city and having to deal with the mall, but fine, I will make due. I lug my PS3 into the mall and up to the Microsoft kiosk. I let them know what I want to do, and they assign a condescending sales person to process the paperwork. This isn't about him. I get it, you sell crap at a kiosk in the mall. I don't expect you to make my shopping experience anything more than below average. Fine. First 7 or 8 minutes is him printing out forms and things, not really telling me what he's doing, just doing it. Eventually he gives me stuff to fill out. I tell him I want the SO bundle. He tells me they are sold out. "No problem" I say, "they still have them online." I'm still planning to use my $100 coupon at the online store, and wait a few more days to get it. No biggie. He tries to sell me the Assassins Creed bundle they have instead. I say no thanks, and AC is something I play every 3rd iteration, and I just played Black Flag. Processing continues, blah blah blah....

Finally he's like "so which console do you want?"

"I told you, the SO one... I'm going to buy it online."

"You can't. The $100 coupon can only be used at the store"

"...".... FML


The game is a GODDAMNED DIGITAL CODE!! (which the condescending salesperson was quick to point out "we're trying to move everything to digital".... Yeah, no shit, profits are much higher that way. Duh.)

Anyways, all you had to do, Microsoft, was give this... gentleman... an ability to give me a base console and a digital code. I told him I didn't care about limited edition white. I explained exactly what I wanted. I had the money ready to go. I always buy like 15 games per console. He says "I wish we could - but we can't do that.... So, Assassin's Creed?"

I packed up my PS3 and walked out. Dejected. And now because I'm stubborn I won't every get to enjoy Forza 5, I'll still have a PS3 in my closet forever, and my poor kid won't ever get to play Kinectimals or whatever crap is on that thing now. Microsoft, I want to give you money. I really do. Make it easy. Make me happy. Stop making great products that I really want, only to have such a disjointed and painful customer experience that hating you is now my religion.

Ahhh, thanks blogging. I feel better now.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Your comments are all spam

I really miss being able to whine in paragraphs instead of Tweets, so I'm going to get back to blogging. Except I really hate it that 90% of the comments I get are spam. I really don't want to make people register to comment, cause that sucks, but I'm sick of moderating comments all day. Any of you have advice to fix this?

First one to comment gets a free ebook!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Backyards & Bottles is now Open!

My wife opened her new store selling wine accessories best suited for outside events like tailgates, bbqs, outdoor concerts, etc... In other words, all the things we love. Please go check out her facebook page and "like" her.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Big Fake Numbers Aren't News

Dear CNN,

If you really have no idea how many gallons have spilled into the Gulf, so much so that you ask the user to provide the inputs, then a real-time tracker on your home page is probably not warranted.


Friday, April 16, 2010

Blizzard Mount Generates $125 MM in Free Revs

Well, Blizzard finally did it. They decided to let loose the reigns, and let The Man (you know, the suits at Activision) make some freaking money. And How.

If you are one of the gazillion World Of Warcraft players out there, you can now spend $25 on an in-game mount (pictured). Apparently, these are limited to only 5,000,000 though, so you better get on it.

And for the non-suits out there, that's $125 Million dollars in revenue, for something that has $0 marginal cost. HOLY SHIT!

Monday, April 12, 2010

McDonalds Filet O Fish Campaign Pretty Much Kicks Ass

You know that McDonald's Filet 'o Fish ad where there dudes are in the truck and that one guy is jammin out to the filet 'o fish song?... Of course you do, cause it's awesome.

Some evidence on the awesomeness:

1) I was at a piano bar Saturday night and they played the song - everyone loved it
2) Every time I hear my phone vibrate, I start singing the song... that's right, I've been hypnotized by a commercial and now sing the filet o fish song whenever my phone buzzes

Friday, April 9, 2010

Marketing Winzors teh day! Hooray PS3

You know why I hate marketing (even though it's my job)? Because even when the PS3 just reduced it's size to something fairly neat, it almost has a decent online interface and Netflix connection, Blu Ray is gaining some steam, and they have finally hit the $299 point.

The marketing geniuses at Sony are giving all the sales credit to... Kevin Butler.